The conflict is just too much to bear. It’s difficult to explain; the difference in religions, beliefs, trust, favors, returns. The complication just gets more complicated and there is no escape route even if you decide to head back to an empty egg shell and close it for a long time. They say you then come out as a new man, but then again; Bullshit!
The conflict in Benaras for instance. Modernity up surging, trying to get established by glorifying it through places like Benaras Hindu University and other fuckers who came back from other states after completing their fucking studies or other business shits. Business fuckers trying to hit the jackpot by feeding products to people that they need! Few things that cannot change of course are the gullies, the pundits, the wild faith and the way these gies swear at each other. As if one can use this place as a brilliant example to describe the country India as a whole. The mixture is right there in front of your eyes. Frame your vision in one corner of any street near the ghats and observe for 5 mins, you’ll get it; a saare showroom with a signboard having a picture of the holy sacred cow. Go inside you will find the same thing there. ‘A white cow inside a saare showroom’! Aarti at evenings and pub culture at nights. Where exactly are we heading? Doesn’t really matter does it? Culture has been something where I guess change and assimilation are just synonymous.
The ‘Bander wale Baba’ in Assi… His monkey’s name is Julie and she bites. I see him who spends his life roofless and will obviously live and die in Benaras. I also see a ‘firang’ who has denounced the pleasures of life, wearing saffron robes and walking around ghats. A business guy quite ‘modern’ thought wise, born in Benaras, wants to die here as well.
I am not sure if we should call this a place where you find all your answers or a place where you start asking too many questions. In my case, I guess only time will tell.